where am i from again
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
