Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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