Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize