You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
