I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
