Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
