she looked like the before picture.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
