Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
