ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
