he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
