I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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