The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
