I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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