My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
