Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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