You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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