so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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