So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
