Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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