This is the prime rib incident all over again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize