This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
