whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am naked and annoyed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
