I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
