your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found the puke drawer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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