i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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