Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
