Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize