Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
