the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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