can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
