the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
