bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
should my penis look like a turkey
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
