Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
