Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
