How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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