C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
