Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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