dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
