Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
