It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
