watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
