areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
