Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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