Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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