I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
