Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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