I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
one might say we're banned from that church
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
