The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
