why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
