sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish you could order shots online.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
