HIV tests are more positive than that guy
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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