I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
