he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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