just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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