Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
