We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
