I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
