The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
