he thought i was a dude.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
