You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
