Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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