We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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