what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
